[Photo: Southern Living]

Ever been there? You’re out at dinner, your server arrives to take your drink order. Beer? Cocktail? Well, why not both? Enter the beer cocktail. Welcome to the newest craze in mixed drinks. Well, let me rephrase that: Beer cocktails are not new. Take the simple Shandy, half beer, half lemonade. (I vaguely recall my grandfather drinking these on very rare occasions.) There’s the Black Velvet, which is stout mixed with champagne. Or the drop-your-shot-in-the-beer drinks, the most popular being the Dr. Pepper. The only beer cocktail I ever had was while living in London as a student. It’s called a Snakebite & Black—half ale, half cider, infused with some Black Currant liqueur. Many bars wouldn’t even serve them because, well, they make you bloody well pissed and have a reputation for inducing vomit on the unsuspecting. In fact, in 2004, when we went back across the pond, I couldn’t find one single pub that would even serve one, so Jason could try it.

Beer cocktails have been around for a long time, but are getting increasing more popular and more inventive. The site Drinkspub.com has a few listed. Let’s have a look:

The Acid Bomb
2 – 3 oz Bacardi® Limon Rum
1 bottle Corona® Extra lager
1 slice lemon, salt

1. Crack open the bottle of Corona Extra and drop the lemon slice inside.
2. Serve a double-shot of Bacardi Limon with the rim of the shot glass layered with margarita salt.
3. Take the double-shot (holding the double shot in your mouth), and fill the rest of your mouth (with the double shot still inside) with Corona Extra.
4. Have a friend (with the mix of Bacardi and Corona in your mouth) shake your head for a solid 3 seconds, on the count of 3 down the mix in one swallow.

Bruisin’ Rating: F
Anything that involves Corona and a friend literally shaking my head for 3 seconds is off-limits.

Juicy Guinness Premier
1 shot Blue Curacao liqueur
1 shot Taboo® (absinthe)
1 shot Absolut® vodka
1/2 pint Guinness® Stout
fill with lager

Mix in the shots of blue curacao, taboo and vodka. Add the Guinness to the spirits up to 3cm below the rim of the pint glass. Allow the guinness to settle before adding the lager. Allow to settle again before consuming.

Bruisin’ Rating: F
Just the sound of it makes me want to cry.

The Belgian Waffle
1/2 pint Guinness® Stout
1/2 pint Belgian Witbier ale

Pour Blue Moon ale into a beer mug, filling it half way. Fill the other half with Guinness stout, pouring it over a spoon, and serve.

Bruisin’ Rating: C
Chocolate-covered waffles? We like those enough to maybe give this a shot.

Manneken Pis
2/10 Mandarine Imperiale (orange liquer)
1/10 Campari (bitters)
3/10 Cold Geuze

Bruisin’ Rating: B
This actually seems interesting, like the flavors would match. We’d try it.
Plus we found this awesome parody ad of Jerry Falwell for Campari, circa 1983.

So, what is the deal? Most of what I could find just seems silly as the beer doesn’t really seem to contribute anything to the overall cocktail, more like filler. Has anyone seen these in Asheville? Boston’s DIG has a short article of a few available in their city. Here are some more. And the very latest from NYC: “I’m working on a condiment beer cocktail, with things like mustard and ketchup, with a crushed potato rim,” she said. “It’s psycho.” Yeah, that’s pretty psycho. It’s also pretty disgusting.

Calling these “beer cocktails” is a problem when the focus of the drink is not on the beer. Giving a recipe instruction to use a 12 oz beer is not helpful. What kind of beer? There are loads of them! If mixologists made beer the cocktail’s main flavor enhanced by other things, we might give them a try. Just respect the beer, don’t ruin it. Amen.